The past few YEARS
My growth.
This blog is one of my most positive purposes for spreading love. I have a journal and archived pictures full of recipes, DIY projects and so many other things that I want to share with you. BUT my love blog often goes forgotten as I continue through my daily routines. Honestly, I would love to add this to my daily morning rituals; yoga, morning homestead chores, and all the other miscellaneous things I accomplish to my already overcrowded schedule. My husband once said, “people make the things that are important to them priority”. So is my blog that important to me?
I titled this post My Growth because I have mentally and physically grown since the start of my blog in January 2019. Sometimes I even look back and wonder how I have managed to get this far. Just the other night I was reflecting on life under the moonlight and I thought wow it’s nearly 4 years since our son was murdered. Thinking back to May 2018, I was devastated! I tried to make sense of my new normal but instantly realized there is no such thing and quickly learned to live with the pain. The first year was easier than the second. I think because I was so busy grieving that the days, weeks, and months collided and before I knew it we were attending a memorial BBQ in honor of my father and him.
Definitely, the most difficult part of my healing was having to attend multiple court hearings regarding his case. So as I took 10 steps forward, one court proceeding would take me 8 steps back. It was not until the Spring of 2021 that we went to the final hearing. Which in my growth I can honestly agree after the convictions I felt a sense of relief that I was past that portion of his death. And slowly but surely I am becoming more sociable again.
After losing our only child, I had to learn to adjust very quickly to the position in my life. I once was a mother and wife but now I am solely a wife. It is now just my husband and me. We are a family of 2, a couple with no kids or grandchildren and we have to take care of each other. During the Pandemic and dealing with the idea that he or I may get sick and even die showed us that we do not want to be without the other no time soon. We vowed to always take the necessary precautions to take care of ourselves. When the Covid vaccine was available in our area I quickly scheduled our appointments. I am so grateful to God for our relationship and I know that I would not be mentally grounded with the loss of our son without my husband, his father, beside me. I think it’s because we have each other that we are able to move forward together. Of course, we have our moments and we may get sad, upset, or just tickled when reflecting on the years with our son. But again it’s the biggest Blessing for us to be able to reflect on the past together while continuing to grow towards the future. Besides our son wouldn’t have it any other way!!!
“the bravest thing i ever did was continuing my life when i wanted to die.” — juliette lewis
Bradley's Homestead 